The Mecca of All Things Awesome

In an attempt to bypass the rush hour traffic in Knoxville (TN) The Armada sailed on 321 East to 441 North. Along the way we were graced with winding mountain roads and breathtaking vistas at every turn. We were happy to avoid the interstate tailgating mad rush. However, we could not have anticipated or imagined the sheer awesomeness that awaited us in Pigeon Forge and Sevierville. Picture this: as you emerge from the scenic log cabin dotted foothills of the Smokey Mountains, you are greeted by an impressively large raised wooden go-kart track. You make a left at the light, and there, on the horizon is the most fabulous fake plastic castle you have ever seen. Inside? The world's largest mirror maze, over 5,000 sq ft of reflective passageways, where you have a one in one chance of getting lost. The enthusiastic greeter, in his homemade St. Patrick's Day costume, informs you that more adventures await. You can make your way to the "choose your wand" aisle to procure your weapon for the interactive magic battle that will ensue. Use your wand to defeat dragons, save pixies, open treasure chests and learn new powers, such as, thunder, lightning, and sheer awesome. Magic not your cup of tea? Then proceed to The Vault - where Entrapment meets Mission Impossible challenge where you must maneveur through laser beams and survive to tell the tale. Still not impressed? Perhaps black light pirate mini golf will satiate your thirst for adventure! When you have finished all of that, step outside to Mellow Mushrrom for what is advertised as the best pizza on the planet. After refueling, embrace your inner grandma and cross the street to Christmas Place. What can we say, Christmas does not just come once a year in Pigeon Forge. After, indulge your infomercial fantasies at THE world's largest "As Seen On TV" megastore. And that just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Looking for the real iceberg? Run, do not walk, to The Titanic Museum, complete with life size ballroom and over 400 authentic artifacts? Why is there a Titanic Museum in a landlocked state with no relation to the Titanic whatsoever, you ask? Because they are just that awesome.

There are many other things we cannot even describe, but let's just say they involve the longest running Biblical musical show. Then of course, there are the waterparks, NASCAR themed amusement park, the National Knife Museum, Feuding Lumberjack dinner show, and a Dolly Parton exhibit. Phew, I am le tired just describing these amusements. Let's just some up that it is like a family friendly Las Vegas, but way more awesome. Or like a panda with chocolate fondue at an emu's tea party, if you know what I mean.