A Visit to Graceland

The Armada Roadtrip journeys to Nashville to visit the iconic home of Elvis Presley. Sadly, because of monetary constraints (dubloons aren't worth much these days), we were unable to go inside. Furthermore, poor Murphy was not welcome.

The World's Fastest Swine. Question Mark

Found at the Houston Stockshow and Rodeo....

Giant Protest Rat

We had the distinct pleasure of running into the giant inflatable protest rat today - he's on 38th and 3rd for a protest against a bldg management company.

Shake Shack Burgers

The Armada Roadtrip has finally arrived to The Big Apple. After a long day of driving and looking for parking (no easy feat in NYC), we went to the renowned Shake Shack for burgers and ice cream. The burgers were nothing short of perfect and Murphy was able to delight in a special doggie snack, the Poochini - vanilla custard, peanut butter, and home, made doggie biscuit.

Pennsylvania Has a Positive Attitude

You can do it! (Just outside of Centralia, PA)

We Have Found the Promised Land, You Can Too

But we won't tell you where it is!!!

Scranton, PA - The Electric City

and home to The Office. Check out the Mall at Steamtown for some Office related sights.

Arrrrrrobics

Sitting in traffic can be a frustrating experience - channel your anger through the ultimate punch workout. Heart healthy and reduces road rage!

The Mecca of All Things Awesome

In an attempt to bypass the rush hour traffic in Knoxville (TN) The Armada sailed on 321 East to 441 North. Along the way we were graced with winding mountain roads and breathtaking vistas at every turn. We were happy to avoid the interstate tailgating mad rush. However, we could not have anticipated or imagined the sheer awesomeness that awaited us in Pigeon Forge and Sevierville. Picture this: as you emerge from the scenic log cabin dotted foothills of the Smokey Mountains, you are greeted by an impressively large raised wooden go-kart track. You make a left at the light, and there, on the horizon is the most fabulous fake plastic castle you have ever seen. Inside? The world's largest mirror maze, over 5,000 sq ft of reflective passageways, where you have a one in one chance of getting lost. The enthusiastic greeter, in his homemade St. Patrick's Day costume, informs you that more adventures await. You can make your way to the "choose your wand" aisle to procure your weapon for the interactive magic battle that will ensue. Use your wand to defeat dragons, save pixies, open treasure chests and learn new powers, such as, thunder, lightning, and sheer awesome. Magic not your cup of tea? Then proceed to The Vault - where Entrapment meets Mission Impossible challenge where you must maneveur through laser beams and survive to tell the tale. Still not impressed? Perhaps black light pirate mini golf will satiate your thirst for adventure! When you have finished all of that, step outside to Mellow Mushrrom for what is advertised as the best pizza on the planet. After refueling, embrace your inner grandma and cross the street to Christmas Place. What can we say, Christmas does not just come once a year in Pigeon Forge. After, indulge your infomercial fantasies at THE world's largest "As Seen On TV" megastore. And that just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Looking for the real iceberg? Run, do not walk, to The Titanic Museum, complete with life size ballroom and over 400 authentic artifacts? Why is there a Titanic Museum in a landlocked state with no relation to the Titanic whatsoever, you ask? Because they are just that awesome.

There are many other things we cannot even describe, but let's just say they involve the longest running Biblical musical show. Then of course, there are the waterparks, NASCAR themed amusement park, the National Knife Museum, Feuding Lumberjack dinner show, and a Dolly Parton exhibit. Phew, I am le tired just describing these amusements. Let's just some up that it is like a family friendly Las Vegas, but way more awesome. Or like a panda with chocolate fondue at an emu's tea party, if you know what I mean.

Cleanest Bathroom Award (as of yet)

Shout out to the Marathon gas station on Route 321 North in Lenoir City (outside of Knoxville, TN) for having an impeccably clean bathroom!

Palestine. Question Mark.

Yes, Palestine, Arkansas. Coming up, Moscow, Tennessee...

Down Home With the Neely's

Today, we had lunch at Neely's BBQ in Memphis, TN.  Despite their Food Network fame, Neely's joint is unpretentious with its wood paneled decor and incredibly friendly waitstaff. A morning of pillaging had us quite famished - thus we ordered the pork rib dinner with beans and cole slaw. The BBQ beans had a great smokey flavor and the slaw was perfectly crunchy. While the ribs definitely had a melt in your mouth texture, the sauce was just a little off somehow. To date, we prefer Black's BBQ, the oldest family run barbecue, in Lockhart, TX.

The Old Mill - Historic Attraction. Question Mark.

Despite being placed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1986, the Old Mill in North Little Rock, Arkansas is neither very old nor actually a mill. Erected in 1933, The Mill is intended to appear abandoned - it was never in service and is not a reproduction of any particular mill. However, it does have a claim to fame as the mill featured in the opening scenes of the 1939 classic "Gone With the Wind". Adding to the bizarre charm of this destination are the faux bois (fake wood) sculptures by Senor Dionicio Rodriguez. The extensive gardening and lovely water features create a cozy picnic site, nestled at the head of a dried out swamp plain.

The Old Mill is located at Lakeshore Dr and Fairway Ave, North Little Rock, AR.

A Pilgrimage to Cowboys Stadium

The Russian ex-stockbroker, turned pirate wench, happens to be a huge fan of the Dallas Cowboys. Yesterday was a momentous day in her young life as she made the journey of a lifetime to Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, TX. Moved to tears by the sheer awesomeness of the sight, she felt like she had found a chest full of dubloons.

Lunch in Wacos

We rolled into Waco with rumbling stomachs and pulled over at the brightly colored Health Camp burger and malt joint. In existence since 1949, Health Camp has a delectable diner feel and deliciously satisfying burgers. On top of that, the shakes are thick and luxuriously creamy, and if you BYOB - bring your own banana that is - they can turn you a mean banana split.

The Armada sailed off satisfied and ready for the everyday extremes of everyday life.

Health Camp has been written up in various publications as one of the best burger joints in Texas. It can be found at 2601 Circle Road, Waco, TX.

Let the Light Shine Through

Sometimes even Viking pirate roadtrippers need a break from raping and pillaging for a quiet moment of reflection. Being in Houston we decided to sail to Lakewood Church, the largest US congregation by number of worshippers. Let's just say the service is done with the bravado of 19 firing canons, or just one very awesome choir and band. No seriously, the vocal performances were astounding and the band left little to be desired. Housed in the former home of the Houston Rockets, the church seats over 16,000 Jesus enthusiasts at a time. The service is very interactive and entertaining. Following the 40 minute opening rock gospel concert, the pastor takes the stage for words of inspiration, and a bit of stand up comedy.

Houston's Beer Can House

The Beer Can House in Houston is every frat boys's dream home. From its pull tab windchimes to its can top shades on the porch, this home is a creative outlet for the everyday extreme beer drinker. Not only do we need to give them props for their recycling efforts, but we would like to point out that we would be happy to partake in any renovation materials acquisitions. We will even bring the chips, dip, and party hats. Here's to you, Beer Can House.

The Beer Can House is located at 220 Malone St, Houston, TX. It is open for visitors on Saturdays.